So when the architectural inspectors went in there after the earthquake, they saw this giganto crack in the foundation near the locker rooms. So the inspectors put some sort of probe down in the hole to guage the depth -- and it went on for ever!! They ran out of cord!! So they stuck this temperature guage in there, and it turns out it, like, 1000 degrees or something!! The catholic church now believes this crack is a direct portal to hell! And that Joe Torre of The Yankees has gone into a contact with Lucifer himself, and that's why the Yankees keep winning baseball games!
Remember that time in the early 70's when they tried to pour cement in there and patch up the hole, and the entire team went on strike?? What does that tell you??
So when I researched exorcisms that the Catholic church has performed (they have a website that lists them all, way back into the middle ages), I found out that they keep trying to douse Joe Torre with Holy Water, but the man has some sort of duck-feather coating on him, and the holy water keeps rolling off!!
So, you know. That's all.