I found a genie lamp, but it turns out it was only a trivial genie. He can only grant wishes that are really unimportant.
So, I'm still poor, and there's still a massacre going on in Sudan. On the plus side, Also Sprach Zarasthura now plays whenever I walk into a room.
I just walked out of my bedroom, but totally forgot to open the door first. Apparently I passed right through it like a ghost! I have not been able to repeat the process, which is totally bumming me out. I'll keep trying, but my head is starting to hurt from the failed attempts. I'll keep you all informed of my progress.
And the Canadian public have overwhelmingly voted to become American citizens. Except for those damn separatists in Quebec, who (due to the butterfly ballots and a few hanging chads) accidentally joined Costa Rica instead.
The one caveat is that the new design of the US flag has to include 62 little maple leafs instead of the old 50-star design.
Costa Rica's national flag will be changed to reflect the new Quebecois influence. It will be snow-colored beaver rampant and argent depiction of the traditional Costa Rican great seal, on a background as spotless as pure coconut milk.
I think that I've just developed the ability to spit acid. I can't wait to show my coworkers*!
*By "show", I mean "dissolve".
Due to irreconcilable differences between the Disney administration and cast, the entire fantasy union is going on strike as of midnight, tonight. If you see Cinderella, Pocahontas, Nemo, & the gang all picketing the front gates of Epcot, you'll know why.
Rumor has it, though, that the entire cast of the 100-Acre Wood has snuck off to Hooters for a drunken night of debauchery and hot wings.
And Tinkerbell isn't missing. Don't go looking for her.
If you've been wondering if the reason that no one has posted here in awhile is because all members are currently dead; you are absolutely correct.
Seeing if we could knock down that concrete wall by running into it en mass, head-first, was a bad idea!
(But it sure seemed like the thing to do at the time.)
Tomorrow, March 22, is National Making Shit Up Day. Show your support! Bring the kids! There's going to be fun & games for the whole family: pi fights, hot air balloons, and free-range people barbecued on the grill (for you vegetarians out there, we'll have some Soy-lent Green as an alternative).
Date: March 22nd
Time: All Day!
Location: A LJ client near you!
Free Parking Available
We do ask that people bring a little something to help stock local homeless shelters, so if you know anyone who's homeless (or should be), invite them along!
There's some bylaw in heaven that only one celebrity can get in per week. Whenever you have two famous people die in rapid succession they have to duke it out right outside the Pearly Gates to see who gets in. The winner gets the Golden Ticket, the loser a one-way trip to Satan's Palace-O-Pain. I still remember a few years ago when they had the knock-down-drag-out brawl between Princess Di and Mother Teressa. While I don't condone such behavior, I still think that Mother T.'s strategic application of a folding chair to the back of Di's head was an effective way of putting that stuck-up royal in her place.... IN HELL!!!!!
Any word yet on the outcome of JP2 vs. Terri Shiavo? My money's on the brain dead woman; I don't think ole John Paul has what it takes to take her out if he can't use his famous sleeper hold.